Good Wife Guide..

This is an Excerpt from a widely circulated paper from the 1950's, Oh man, how times have changed...
* Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.
('There's some crisps in the cupboard baby')
* Prepare yourself. Take fifteen minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.
(She's been resting for a lot longer than fifteen minutes, and she's still got 'Homer Simpson' slippers on her feet and a bath robe)
* Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
(Not sure what this one means, but in my head it's coming home to a threesome with one of her hot friends)
* Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives.
(Don't fall over the plates on the floor, honey!!!)
* Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering to his personal comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.
(Catering for my 'personal comfort' usually puts me in a deep sleep)
* Be happy to see him.
(I'll give her this one, I usually bring chocolate home)
* Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.
(She's usually sincere in her 'Desire to please' me, sometimes she just lies there)
* Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not one of them. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
(I live in a house with two record-breaking talkers, I'd have to shout for those two to hear me)
* Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.
(Yeah right!!..a guy falls in the door at 5:30am, lipstick on collar, stinking of drink & cheap perfume, wife gets outta bed, makes him his dinner, put's on some make-up and finishes the job some cheap tramp couldn't do because she passed out drunk)
* Your goal: Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquility where your husband can renew himself body and spirit.
(Peace, order & tranquility?..Never heard of that)
* Don't complain if he's late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.
(Yeah, 'cos a night out is way more stressful than work)
* Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.
(I'd be convinced I was gonna get murdered if she did this)
* Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgement or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.
(WTF!!...This isn't funny anymore. Yeah, men are always fair & truthful, have you ever met a man?, they're scumbags)
* A good wife always knows her place.
This isn't a joke, this was a real guide to being a good wife (the parts I wrote were a joke), how much respect could you have for a woman that treated you this way.