My family is annoying me....

..but in a fun way, for them anyway. Shar is making me faint so she can try to catch me, but so far has only succeeded in kneeing me in the crotch & busting my lip, James is laughing at me. You keep it up!!, James your PS3 is going out the window and Shar I'm gonna hide your favourite toy where you'll never find it..wait that sounds bad!!

I hate the internet!!!

My girlfriend is ignoring me to look up idiots on 'Youtube' trying to copy this stoopid ad!!..There's naked guys on there Shar!! I bet there's even a video of two guys copying this ad using their erections!!! Go ahead..Look!!

If Valentine's Cards Told The Truth...

I want!!

Now i really want one of these. How handy would that be? Well actually i don't need one, women do what i tell them anyway..Yes, I'm fooling myself!!

Indigo Girls

I can't describe the pleasure these two women have brought to over the years. No one can write love songs like these two. Since i was young i wondered what they looked like, when i found out that they weren't too pretty i cared not. I'd still marry them. Later i found out they were both lesbians. Which meant all those beautiful love songs weren't written for me. For every woman i loved, every affair i had, there's an Indigo Girls song that hits me hard every time.

Girls Getting Ready

We went out last night, and my girlfriend spent more time getting ready than we spent drinking. Twenty outfits later we left with her still unhappy with her choice of clothes, and our main topic of conversation was how unhappy she was with the way she was dressed. Well, we did talk a lot about people we knew that we'd like to fuck. I on the under hand found some clothes thrown on my bedroom floor, stuck my head under the tap and walked out the door with my pants still open. And the picture?..Therapy for that last one!!

Pretty Girls

Maybe that analogy that pretty equals dumb isn’t true. Maybe it’s only Paris Hilton that’s like that. Or maybe it’s that everyone is interesting, but we’re better motivated to get to know pretty girls. If she wasn’t so pretty would you want to know her favourite movie, her favourite colour, her favourite music? This is a curse on all men, so many wonderful women out there, but only the pretty ones get attention. I find pretty girls most interesting, but then i don’t know any plain girls very well. If i opened my mind instead of my eyes maybe I’d find someone special. I know that will never happen, i’m as shallow as the next guy. Gimmie a nice bum instead of a girl that’s interested in physics any day!!!

Looking for Love..not me, i hate it!!

I often wonder, if i was single, where would i find someone? I met my girlfriend at work, but these days that's classed as sexual harrassment. Nightclubs & bars aren't really my thing, and i'm not really interested in people i don't know. So, sad as it sounds i think it'd have to be the internet for me. Firstly, in order to use a computer you have to be somewhat intelligent. Secondly, you can put pictures on your profile these days. And thirdly, that person would have to be as sad, lonely & desperate as I am.

I hope we never end up like this....

Sometime when we're out, my girlfriend and I see these couples that just sit there silently with each other. Hours pass and they just sit there, no passion, no words, no life together. I sometimes wonder if something terrible has passed between them or they're just too afraid to find someone else. And these aren't always older couples, more often than not they're young people. As we sit there mauling each other & laughing until Morgan Spice rum comes down our noses, i wonder if we'll end up like that. A lot has passed between us too, and we're together a long time, but if you're gonna be with someone you should make that all it can be. Or maybe that's enough for them, maybe they'll go home and fuck each other's brains out on the kitchen table, after all we just go home, peck on the cheek, 'night dear and off to sleep. But, we do usually have sex in a tree on the way home.

Can we just have cuddly sex tonight please?

Just for tonight you just lie there reading a book or something, I won't have to count sheep, our neighbours kids won't be saying '' Mommy, he's killing her again'', you won't strain your vocal chords, our poor bed will last a little longer, and so will that burn cream....The average sexual encounter lasts 20 minutes, i swear...Google it!!

It's always compicated, isn't it??