Making new Friends...

There's a fly around my living room all morning, and he's driving me mad! I haven't the heart to kill him so I've been trying to reason with him, telling him how life would be much better for him outdoors, and earlier his friends called for him, and that he's wasting his time because my energy drink is sugar-free anyway. I'm sure he just wants to be friends, but I'm cranky this morning & unfortunately he doesn't speak English & I don't speak 'Fly'.

Every 7 Seconds!!

Isaac Newton died a virgin (Look at him, no wonder, right??..lol). He's the father of modern mathematics & one of the brightest people that ever lived. I reckon he never had a sexual thought. If he thought about sex as much as men usually do, he wouldn't have given a fuck about numbers. Sex is the most distracting thing ever, if a guy got smashed by a car as was broken & dying at the side of the road & a cute chick came up to help he'd think 'Wow, she's smoking'. It overrides every thought we have. I could do a lot more with my life if i didn't think about sex, invent a time machine, a unified theory of physics, cure the common cold, understand women etc. Little head does the thinking!!..Here are some other people that died virgins: Fredric Chopin: Famous Classical Composer. Immanual Kant: Unpleasant German Philosopher. George Bernard Shaw: Not really, but shocked into abstinance when seduced by an older woman Adolf Hitler: (Supposedly) Recovered Germany from low self-esteem, did some bad stuff too. John Ruskin: Social Thinker & Art Critic, Shocked into virginity on his wedding night Jesus: Leader of Christianity, Sex was invented by his father. Anne Frank: (I'm really, really sorry!) On the other hand, Einstein, probably humanities' greatest mind was a magnet for women, despite his looks, apparently he fucked Marilyn Monroe!

Movie Review..Changeling

Ok, I haven't actually seen it, but my girlfriend watched it last night, and spent the whole night sobbing. She was still awake crying until 5:30am. So in conclusion, this movie was crap & I'm whacked today because of it!!...and what kind of Director lets Angelina Jolie wear clothes like this??..I'd be awake all night too, sexually cross-referencing Angelina Jolie with my Granny!!

They grow up so fast, don't they??

My 11 year old son does some online shopping occasionally, I have a paypal account set up for him. He's usually fairly trustworthy, he's recently bought a baseball bat, some videogame related stuff, but this morning he showed me the 'cool' T-shirt he bought last night!! He thinks it's hilarious!! I can imagine the faces of people in church next Sunday morning!!..Not really!!..I'd let him wear a t-shirt like this before I'd let him into a church!!

I do a lot of Stupid things!!

You know, you have toast for breakfast when you shoulda had yogurt, stay up until 4am when you got work in the morning, fall for the wrong woman etc...Anyway I found this cool website that now makes all my decisions for me www.hunch.com . It has a database of thousands of questions & based on answers you give, it tells you what to do. For example 'Are you a computer Geek??...(don't really need Hunch for this one) ..turns out I am!! Although I am 76% kissable, I lost out on the 24% 'cos I'm nervous before I kiss someone & I don't make enough eye contact..that figures!! I'm 58% socially awkward..Ok, gonna stop using this now, making me paranoid (82%)!!

Speed Dating.

Me and Shar are going speed dating next month. It's just a social experiment, not a means to get some stranger to come home with us & hold a camera or anything. €50 to the one of us that gets the most call backs. I'm feeling confident, but on the day I'm hoping I won't go banging on about South American history or my sexual inadequacy. I have all my lies ready..30, single, car owner, employed, generous, can maintain an erection, good listener. If i get rejected I hope I won't shout 'Screw you lady, see that hot chick in the black dress, that's my girlfriend'